I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize