It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
