i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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