hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
