is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
