whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My pussy is not your playground.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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