She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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