i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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