I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
