True but thats because hes a fetus.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
