i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
