So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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