I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
