Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
