she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
