I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
