i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
