Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize