Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
