There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
