jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
