The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
