It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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