He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
