You're completely useless in the revolution.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
