Midget sex pt 2 tonight
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
