if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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