my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
