so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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