we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wish my penis had a tongue
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
