he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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