At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
