His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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