TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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