I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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