Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
