Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
