I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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