508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
from now on my penis is your penis
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
