Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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