the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
