Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
