we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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