You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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