I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
