2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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