either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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