It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
