Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
