Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
