god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
