Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
