Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize