yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
