are you still at the devil's house?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
