we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
