I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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