i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
