Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I had to cum in my sink.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
