i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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