I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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