Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i came on her dog
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
