it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize