Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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