So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
