But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
