god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
