You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
